Directing: C
Acting: B-
Writing: C
Cinematography: B
Editing: B-

Why does anyone bother trying to remake an Alfred Hitchcock Film? The impulse is mystifying. Hitchcock was an unparalleled master of the craft, and it seems telling that it’s never another master of the craft trying to recapture the quality of one of his original films. Ben Wheatley’s 2020 version is so regressive, it might as well have been made in 1940. But guess what? Hitchcock made his version in 1940. Seriously, why not just watch that? That’s what I shall do: I’ve already placed a hold on the DVD at my local library. I suppose you could say I watched this new, clearly inferior version just so that I would enjoy the original that much more. I wouldn’t necessarily say that you should do the same. You could say, rather, that I watched it so you don’t have to.

I mean, what a waste of time, when there is so much better stuff at your fingertips to watch. And this is not the same as the comparison of a film to a book on which it’s based. Those are two different mediums, and I still say a film should be judged on its own merits. But that standard gets muddied when the film has already been made.

It’s kind of shocking how many Hitchcock films have been remade, or gotten sequels Hitchcock himself had nothing to do with. The closest thing to a great filmmaker remaking his work is Gus Van Sant’s 1998, shot-for-shot remake of Psycho, which might just be the most utterly pointless cinematic exercise in history. And yet, even in its pointlessness, it’s more interesting than the 2020 film Rebecca.

With Ben Wheatley at the helm, it’s not that much of a surprise. He directed the 2015 film High-Rise, which was a complete mess. At least it wasn’t dull. Rebecca is the dullest movie I’ve sat through all year. For once I am truly grateful I did not waste the time and money to see it in a theater.

And to think, there was some anticipation for this movie. Rebecca will get no buzz, will get none of the awards attention clearly desired once upon a time. It wouldn’t have even if it had managed a theatrical release. This film would never have made any real box office money. Period pieces of this sort never do anyway anymore, but this one would have been dead on arrival. Wheatley should thank his lucky stars the film is already on Netflix. It will get more viewers than it ever would have in theaters, just by accident.

And who wants to watch an entire film, in 2020, about a woman feeling increasingly helpless after hastily marrying an emotionally distant man? Rebecca is not a movie for our time. It’s a movie for the 1940s, and it should have stayed there. Lily James, in the lead role, seems almost typecast in second-rate movies; she isn’t helped by Armie Hammer as her husband, stripped of any of his usual charisma. It’s always nice to see Ann Dowd, here occupying the early scenes as the woman paying a young lady (James) to be her traveling companion. But, both she and Armie Hammer don’t quite fit here, with their barely-serviceable fake British accents.

If there is anything that makes Rebecca worth watching, it’s Kristin Scott Thomas, as the sinister head housekeeper constantly plotting against the new young wife. Thomas elevates every scene she’s in—an impressive accomplishment—although she still doesn’t much elevate the movie itself. Rebecca is clearly intended to be both romantic and suspenseful, and it manages to be neither. I look forward to watching the original, appropriately placed in the context of its time, with a director who shows how it should be done.

*The least you could do is take your shirt off, Armie. I’m bored!*

Overall: C+