Tue, 5:36: Bitch, mine's better. https://t.co/oqO2JoHXhH
Tue, 12:04: Just discovered a smudge of peanut butter malt ball on my seat and now it looks like I left a skid mark on my work chair.
Tue, 12:28: I read this while sitting to pee. https://t.co/yxy3NiAzh9
Tue, 14:37: I hearby declare this the all-time best song about holiday drunkenness. https://t.co/lLHXQ3drgS