My tweets

  • Fri, 9:22:

    Guru: Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

    Me: Shut up!

    Guru: Meow. Meow. Meow!

    Me: I don't appreciate your tone.

    Guru: Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meeeooowwww. Meow. Meow.

    Me: All right, fine! Fuck! Jesus!

    Guru: You should have listened to be in the first place, dipshit.
  • Fri, 12:08: Maintaining a healthy weight is a unique challenge for me, because I don’t have anxiety or depression or self-loathing on which to blame my overeating. I look and feel great regardless.

    WHERE’S MY SYMPATHY?

  • Fri, 12:43: Tonya Harding and Adam Rippon both to be on the new season of Dancing with the Stars. I won't watch unless they quit with the heteronormative bullshit and pair Adam with a man (which is not the plan).
  • Fri, 15:25: My favorite thing today is hearing about the screaming irate customer upset about being unable to return ... a supplement designed to promote calmness.
  • Fri, 19:23: Fuck the news. This is better. https://t.co/F8tklwnxRJ