My tweets

  • Fri, 5:41: *bolts upright* Maybe all those bee colonies are collapsing because the workers are just lazy!
  • Fri, 12:06: This job has conditioned me to be way too quick to shove random things into my mouth. What am I, six months old?
  • Fri, 13:31: NOTHING IS "REALLY UNIQUE" OR "MORE UNIQUE" THAT SHIT IS BY DEFINITION POINTLESSLY REDUNDANT STOP SAYING IT IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY
  • Fri, 18:30: This Beyoncé Lion King: The Gift album is incredible and officially how I'm spending my Friday evening along with a Black Opal cocktail and I honestly could not ask for a better kickoff to the weekend, cheers!
  • Fri, 20:29: Shobhit discovered ON GOLDEN POND on Amazon Prime Video the other night and he was like, "This is going to be us."