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Lest anyone get lulled into a false sense of security about my tendency to overshare being a thing of the past: I had to get my own stool samples today, for a medical screening that likely will prevent me from having to get a colonoscopy—just yet. I sent it back to the hospital in the mail.
I don't think I've even mentioned yet that I had an appointment with Dr. Brandon on Friday morning. It was my last-ever appointment with him because he accepted a new position at the hospital, and I really still need to choose a new primary care physician. (I won't choose the first name Brandon threw out to me; it may have been a decade ago but I'm still not over his complete inability to recognize herpes and instead prescribing a topical cream that made it worse.) Anyway, it was a virtual appointment—my first time doing "telehealth," but with this massive spike in Omicron cases, I was totally unsurprised when I got a call asking if I was okay doing a video appointment instead of in person. I said it was fine, and it allowed me to sleep in a bit later anyway, as I then did not have to go down to Virginia Mason Medical Center.
Well, except that I did wind up going down there later that day anyway: I still had to go to the lab and get my blood screening done, mostly the every-three-month routine HIV tests but he also did a bunch of other things like blood sugar and cholesterol and all the stuff that comes with an annual physical. It all came back normal, quite quickly.
A very, very young man drew my blood, by the way. He was kind of cute. When he told me it'll all be over before I knew it, I said, "It always is. It doesn't stop me from being nervous about needles though." He told me he has the same issue and it was a big reason he went into phlebotomy. I was surprised to discover he already had the information that Brandon had recommended the stool sample and that I should be given a sample taking kit; the guy said he would have one for me. I still have no idea whether he actually left one out or not. By the time I was done leaving my urine samples (I had to leave two this time, I forget why; one was for one of the STD tests and the other was for the routine annual physical stuff I think) I was so used to that being when I just leave the samples on the shelf next to the toilet and leave, that's what I did. After washing my hands for a solid twenty seconds, of course.
I actually emailed the hospital a couple of days later asking if they were going to mail me the stool sample kit or if I needed to come back in to get it. Before I even saw a reply, which did come yesterday, I found that the kit had already been mailed to me—it arrived yesterday.
To say this was a new experience for me would be an understatement. I had imagined poking a turd in the toilet water, but no, the kit includes a wide strip of flushable paper with adhesive on each end, meant to stick to either side of the toilet seat and stretch across it. The directions literally say to shit right onto that paper. Okay, I guess not literally
that; it reads,
Make bowel movement onto collection paper.
This is even less intuitive than it sounds. The kit comes with this thin little bottle with a screw-cap attached to a sort of little wand that extends inside, kind of like a wand for blowing bubbles but with a pointed end instead of a circle. The instructions say to poke the fecal sample six times with it and then screw it back inside the bottle. In another area of instructions it says in all caps DO NOT POUR OUT THE LIQUID that came inside the bottle. The thing is, the process was so awkward for me, and I was stupidly holding the bottle in my left hand while doing it, I accidentally poured out what must have been three quarters of that liquid. So now I'm just praying that doesn't somehow fuck up the sample and result in them telling me I had to do it again.
Shobhit had gone to the 7-Eleven for his lottery ticket, but he got back when I was I the middle of collecting the samples. "Don't come in here yet!" I said. I don't care if he's my husband, or even that we routinely take shits in front of each other, this particular thing I wanted no one to be witness to—and Shobhit had no desire to either. He actually said to me, "I'd rather just get the colonoscopy." All that tells me is he is clueless as to what is truly involved with a colonoscopy.
Anyway, I sealed it all up, first the tube inside a clear plastic baggie, which then went inside a "specimen bag" used in lieu of a standard envelope the Post Office apparently won't allow for medical items. I then went down and tried to put it in the outgoing mail from our building, but the mail slot was too narrow, even for the tiny vial inside this envelope. So, I walked down to the end of the block and dropped it into a public mailbox.
Being 45 years old is fun!
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— पांच हजार एक सौ आठ —
As for any other updates since I last posted—oh, I guess I should mention I had a virtual lunch with Karen yesterday; it was one that had been scheduled for the week before last and needed to be rescheduled. Our next one is on Thursday next week. Anyway, it was like being right back in the early days of the pandemic, as both of us were FaceTiming from home again. Over the past several months I'd say maybe half the time Karen actually FaceTimed from her office and half the time she would be at home. I hadn't done any of these virtual lunches from home since June.
There's not much for me to tell regarding what we talked about. Their planned trip to Massachusetts for Christmas got canceled, not because of Omicron but because of the snowy weather (if it's not one thing, it's another). I guess Anita stayed with them at their house for several days, and is back at school teaching as of today. Schools returning after the holiday break has been "a thing," remaining closed yesterday so people could get tested, many of them going to overwhelmed centers that had to turn some people away.
I also haven't mentioned that Gabriel told me about this place called
GS Labs that in his experience has offered more reliable testing appointments than the county testing sites. He really assumed I could have gotten tested right there in Federal Way when I left his house, but either they were booked or they were closed on New Year's Day as well as the day after. I later did make appointments for both myself and Shobhit, at their Northgate testing center, and with Shobhit off work tomorrow I got us early morning appointments tomorrow. So, we should finally get tested. I keep getting really nervous about it, wondering what the odds are that I will test positive. Neither Shobhit or I are sick, but I've felt slightly "off" for a few days and can't tell if it's anything at all or it's just psychosomatic, something I experienced several times in the first half of 2020.
Tracy has tested positive. She texted me yesterday,
So I think I have covid. She got tested and the results came back today, unsurprising considering how sick she's apparently been since Friday. When did I last see her, anyway? I checked and I was last around her on December 17, which was nearly three weeks ago. I think I'm pretty well out of the woods when it comes to risk of exposure from her. My biggest concern, really, is having been to two separate large family holiday gatherings in the past two weeks, the most recent one only three days ago.
I've been thinking, though. Perhaps there may be a silver lining to Omicron likely spreading through an unprecedented amount of the population: I suspect it will get us closer to "herd immunity" than ever before in this pandemic, between the number of people vaccinated and the unvaccinated populations it will rip through, and maybe, possibly, hopefully, that will leave us with a virus that finally shifts into endemic rather than pandemic, and we can ease our way back to a version of normalcy not seen since this shit began. It's weird to be in the middle of the worst wave of infections by far, and still manage to somehow find a kind of hope in that. In other words, in spite of what's happening this month in particular, I remain hopeful for 2022. Maybe not quite as pie-in-the-sky hopeful for 2021 as I had been at the start, but hopeful enough, and probably in a more realistic way.
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Oh! And I nearly forgot: I also had virtual drinks with Claudia on Sunday evening. Starting late afternoon, I guess. Claudia had responded to my Christmas travelogue email by suggesting virtual drinks sometime, saying "I miss you," which was sweet. At first it was suggested we do it New Year's Eve, and as I went next door to watch a movie with Alexia, I totally spaced it. So then I suggested yesterday, and she was available.
She was eager for some PCC gossip, and I had none. Too bad we didn't have our virtual chat last night, as I got bombshell news from work that I don't want to share here until I know it's officially public information. When I got it, it was from the source, via personal email. Potentially very disruptive to my position at PCC, which is unusual, but I will shelve worrying about it for now.
Anyway, Claudia just had water. She's doing a Dry January. I was on my second cocktail of the day. Both had been modified versions of a Hot Buttered Rum, just replacing the rum with the flavored whiskeys Shobhit got for me. So the first was a Hot Buttered Peanut Butter Whiskey, which I quite liked. What I drank while talking to Claudia, which she thought sounded disgusting, was a Hot Buttered Dark Chocolate Banana Whiskey. It wasn't that great, to be honest. I need to try that one straight though; I bet it's very tasty. It just doesn't mix well with hot buttered rum batter.
We chatted about plenty of other things too, and she even said hi briefly to Shobhit when he got home from work.
Prior to that call, in the early afternoon on Sunday, Ivan and I watched the movie
Stardust on Netflix. It was something to do. Before that, I took down all the Christmas decorations and transferred the three boxes down to the storage unit in the garage. This is always a bit of a chore when I do it myself, as I can't just carry three boxes altogether. Instead, I move all three of them one by one in stages: from inside the condo out into the hallway; from outside the condo to the elevator; from the hallway and into the elevator; from the elevator and into the P2 parking garage elevator bank; from that spot to the other side of the door out into the garage; from there over to the locked door into the section where our storage unit is located; from there to just inside the door to the storage area; and then from there to the storage unit itself. It actually goes more quickly than that makes it sound.
I also caught up on the latest episode of
Station Eleven on HBO Max, which is excellent and unfortunately timed, a clear hard sell for a miniseries about a pandemic
in 2020 that wipes out 99.9% of the world's population. The show is about many things though, and the pandemic that restructures the way of living for the few survivors is just one small part of it. About half of it is set twenty years into the future.
As for today, I'm on my second day working from home again, and it's . . . fine. I did drive to the office yesterday to swap out receiving paperwork, which I will do again on Thursday, just as I used to do. When I got back and had the dinner Shobhit had already prepared during a day off of work, we then sat down to watch the Harry Potter reunion special on HBO Max, which I rather enjoyed.
— पांच हजार एक सौ आठ —
[posted 12:52 pm]
