Tue, 05:34: RT @toddalcott
help i am now trapped
in a haiku factory
hurry before they

Tue, 09:24: The clock numbers after the new iOS update are so much bigger it’s like they realized I’m now middle aged. https://t.co/6mWtkX5t6k

Tue, 10:51: Guy on a podcast I'm listening to says he's taken to wearing "obscenely short shorts," and then references a 5" inseam. I'm like, are you serious?
"Obscenely short shorts" better have, like, 0" inseam. I want you in legit hot pants!