We had a pretty full day out and about with Shivi yesterday, leaving shortly after 12:30 and then getting home around 5:30. So really I guess, it was just the entirety of the afternoon that we were out.

First stop: lunch with Abhishek and Vinaya. We last saw them visiting at their place in late May, after an initially planned meeting at the end of December could not happen due to them catching covid while on a vacation (they got stuck in their tropical destination, I forget where but I think it was Mexico, longer than scheduled as a result). We weren't able to connect again, then, until May; and they invited us to visit at their place.

Shobhit suggested we meet somewhere out for lunch, maybe to release any of us from an obligation to prepare food at home. And, since we already had plans to meet with Karen and Dave at Saffron Grill tonight, Shobhit didn't really want to do Indian food for lunch yesterday. Abhishek suggested meeting in Bellevue (they live in Bothell), and we were good with that; I searched for vegetarian options and found Araya's Place, a vegan thai place with two locations in Seattle that we had eaten at before. I didn't know there was one in Bellevue. So, that was where we all met up.

Quick review: Abhishek is Shobhit's cousin's son on his mother's side. If I remember right, Abhishek's grandfather is Shobhit's mom's brother. Thus, Abhishek's dad is Shobhit's cousin, but in age is much closer to Shobhit's mom—and thus Abhishek is only a few years younger than Shobhit (in fact, Abhishek and Vinaya and I were all born in 1976). Shobhit even drew this family tree once in late 2013. Shobhit's mom is the fifth of seven children who lived; Abhishek is grandson of the eldest of those seven children, and thus also the eldest of all the kids in his generation in the family.

Somewhat curiously, Shivi was decidedly less enthusiastic about meeting up with other local family members related to Shobhit, in sharp contrast to how much fun she apparently had with mine. This was clearly nothing against Abhishek and Vinaya as individual people at all; she really doesn't know them. But, and this only occurred to me later, there is still a sense of baggage, I think, with relatives of her own, especially when many of them talk to each other (although it doesn't sound to me like Abhishek spends a lot of time talking to Shobhit's immediate family, Shivi doesn't necessarily know that). There's just more of a sense of expectation, of some level of familial duty I think, that would make her more nervous about meeting up with relatives of her own.

Not that she seemed at all nervous when we were actually at lunch. It was all very casual and fun, and even Shivi was just as lively and engaging as she had been with my family in Olympia. The only really different thing was how, for instance, Abhishek and Vinaya were eager to have their daughter, Nikita, connect with Shivi from their respective colleges—especially since Nikita goes to the University of Chicago and Shivi goes to Purdue; these places are only 115 miles away from each other. (That's a fair distance even regionally, but, Shivi's holiday travels for this trip were still in and out of Chicago—why not Indianapolis, which is closer to her, I don't know; maybe it was cheaper this way.) Shivi was very polite and took the contact information, but she's in her third year of college and already has a life with friends of her own established, and I got at least a slight sense that she's more interested in continuing to focus on them. But, we'll see; who knows. It's too bad those two could not have connected when they first went away to college.

Here's something no one gives a shit about but me: Abhishek and Shivi are, by definition, second cousins (a second cousin is your parent's cousin's child). Thus, the relation between Nikita and Shivi would be: second cousins once removed. I'm not saying that's what she should use in everyday conversation: "This is my second cousin once removed!" I just like to know the specificity of these things.

Anyway. Shobhit had found a parking spot that gets validated for two hours. We probably all hung out for about two and a half hours: the group shot above was taken at 2:09, and then when we clearly didn't want to stop hanging out quite yet, but the server made it pretty clear they could use our table, Vinaya suggested we shift to a nearby bakery for dessert. Vinaya had paid for lunch, much to Shobhit's consternation, so he paid for the dessert. I had a peach crumble and it was very tasty.

There was a lot of talk about how everyone is related, and who Shivi remembers, while we were at dessert. We also talked about maybe starting to hang out more than only once a year again. Vinaya noted that this should be easier now with their kids getting older and one of them now away in college. We all really liked the idea of a summer picnic in a park again, like we did once in 2015. I love that idea, and we can easily provide food at that.

Shivi leaves early tomorrow morning. I don't know if or when she'll visit us in Seattle again, but I hope so; it likely will be a while before we can meet up with Abhishek and Vinaya with her again. But, so far as I could tell, we all had a lovely time together yesterday.

— पांच हजार तीन सौ छत्तीस —

— पांच हजार तीन सौ छत्तीस —

Once leaving Bellevue, we headed back to Seattle for a few more sightseeing locations with Shivi: first stop was Golden Gardens Park, which she was very interested in seeing when we told her we had gotten married there. We figured out that she had been 12 years old when that happened, in 2013 (before her birthday that year). At one point I had noted that Abhishek and Vinaya were the only relatives of Shobhit's to come to our wedding, which made her say, "I wish I had been older!" I don't know if that would have allowed her to come, unless she had already been in college by then, and even then depending on her school schedule she may not have been able to make it. But, it was a sweet sentiment.

I was going to show her wedding pictures, which she has never seen, when we got home, and I forgot. I'll have to remember to do that tonight.

We spent about 25 minutes at Golden Gardens Park. Then, at first thinking we were headed home, Shobhit asked if I thought we should show her the Fremont Troll. Of course we should! Once we arrived and got out of the car, seeing plenty of other people there taking pictures, I told Shivi about how I had once gotten my own niece, Becca, to stick her hand up the troll's nose, Shivi then quite happily did the same (after some slight trouble climbing up there, which Shobhit helped her with). After that, trying to her her head into the troll's nostril, was entirely Shivi's idea. It cracked me up.

And then, since we were so close, we drove down to Gasworks Park, perfectly timed for dusk views of the Seattle skyline across Lake Union. We were there maybe 10 minutes, but I got several pictures and Shivi took several herself (including this shot of me climbing up the hill after I had gone to use the bathroom), and then we drove home.

Once home, I needed to finish writing my blog post about New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, which I still had maybe a quarter of left to write before we left in the early afternoon. After that, I uploaded the day's photos, then made us all eggnog drinks, which I drank while finally taking down the Christmas Tree and the lights from around the windows.

For a while, Shivi was video chatting with Shobhit's mom, who doesn't know Shivi drinks. Without thinking, after taking her first drink, she said, "That's strong!" (It wasn't, really.) For some reason I think Shashi Ji is under the impression that Shivi doesn't even drink milk, although I don't know why; they aren't vegan—Shashi drinks enough chai for that to be impossible. Still, apparently Shivi deflected about the drink by saying her uncle (Shobhit) is making her drink milk, which they thought was hilarious and kept laughing about. A lot of this I could not understand or engage with, as they were all speaking in Hindi.

I was kind of sad to be taking the Christmas decorations down. Shobhit was elated, because he doesn't like what he sees as the visual distraction of the Christmas lights. This is a newer issue with him, something he only ever complained about after moving back from L.A. We had six Christmases before he first moved away, and he never bitched about it then. He keeps trying to suggest I just set everything up in the bedroom instead, which I always bristle at. Christmas Trees don't go in the bedroom. If we had, say, a separate family room with its own set of bay windows, I'd consider an alternate location, but we don't. And the guest room is a bad option because we don't spend any time at all in there. For me, it's about being able to enjoy the decorations from inside the living room and having them visible from outside on the street.

But, whatever. I guess I don't have to listen to him bitch about it for another 11 months.

— पांच हजार तीन सौ छत्तीस —

[posted 12:28 pm]