Here we find Shobhit in his element, barefoot and in the kitchen. You'll just have to take my word for it that he's barefoot.
— पांच हजार पांच सौ दो —
We all know that when it comes to
my birthday, I do whatever the fuck I want. I don't expect anyone else to step up and plan anything for me, which is a recipe for disappointment—I am a
planner, and I like to celebrate. For ten days! Every year!
I only mention that because, if I insist on doing what I want for my birthday, it only makes sense that I should step back and let Shobhit do whatever the hell he wants for
his birthday. Okay, within reason: when I told him that, he said, "Will you let me lick your nose?" No. We all have to draw a line somewhere.
That said, Shobhit did indeed do something rather unusual to celebrate his 50th birthday yesterday. He scheduled time off from work, nothing especially unusual there—but then he spent the day cooking. He made his own birthday dinner. Shobhit loves to cook, he calls it "my therapy," and so he spent his birthday cooking.
Mind you, this is hardly the first time he's done this. He did it in 2018 (
shahi paneer pizza); and last year, 2022, he sort of half-did it, combining takeout of
naan and lentil with his own
eggplant dish leftovers. We've eaten takeout at home for his birthday dinner a couple of other years, including 2020 when the pandemic forced it and we ordered from Saffron Grill.
This year, we he debated for a bit whether to go out to eat or not, in the days leading up to his birthday. We got a fantastic 2-for-1 coupon in the mail from Buca di Beppo that could have worked, or we considering going out to Saffron Grill. Whatever we chose, I budgeted $75 for this, and I honestly think the idea of saving that money was also a motivating factor for Shobhit.
In the end, there was still something truly unique, and unprecedented, about Shobhit's birthday dinner: he made a
feast, with four different dishes in addition to rice and deep fried bhaturas, all of it made from scratch. Plus, although there have been years in the past when we made dinner at home and then went out for dessert, and other years where we went out for dinner, this was also the first year he made dinner
and dessert at home. After stopping at a couple of local bakeries in search of a small cake only to discover they are closed on Mondays, and then trying Regents Bakery in our own building only to discover their smallest cake was 6" for $39, Shobhit decided, about ninety minutes before dinner was scheduled, he would just bake a cake himself.
I was like: is there enough time? Indeed there was. We don't even have eggs at home right now, and Shobhit simply googled eggless cake recipes, found a simple one, and even substituted hot cocoa powder for "cocoa powder" in the recipe. There was no icing. And you know what? It was shockingly delicious.
But that's not all! Knowing he'd be making a lot of food, but clearly not wanting to make a big production of his birthday, he suggested I invite Alexia over for dinner. "But don't tell her it's my birthday," he said, quite rightly knowing it would make her come with treats or a gift—which he didn't want. The only way anyone would come to someone's birthday dinner empty handed is if they have no idea it's anyone's birthday.
There was a brief moment, while I was vacuuming, that I thought: maybe I have told Alexia at some point that today is his birthday? It was entirely possible, although it would just be a casual mention in the middle of me rattling off all my weekend or Halloween plans or something, and her remembering it would be less likely. Well, she clearly had no idea, because when she knocked on the door right when I had suggested she come over at 6:30, and came in asking how we were doing, Alexia was slightly bemused by Shobhit's response: "Feeling old."
Alexia chuckled and said, "Why?"
I said, "Should we tell her?" And then we told her it's Shobhit's birthday.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because he didn't want you to bring anything," I said.
Alexia laughed and said, "Unlike Matthew!" Ha! I feel seen.
— पांच हजार पांच सौ दो —
— पांच हजार पांच सौ दो —
My personal opinion is that 50 is quite momentous enough to do something really special for your birthday. But, of course, "special" means different things to different people, and this was what Shobhit wanted to do. It seemed to make for a day he really enjoyed, which is really the only ultimate goal.
Technically, Shobhit only made three of the four dishes yesterday: okra, which I would not touch but is one of Shobhit's favorites and he still made it less spicy because he knows Alexia also likes it; a vegetable paneer dish which included leeks Shobhit got at the West Seattle Farmers Market on Sunday; and a garbanzo bean dish with a very odd flavor due to a kind of offbeat sauce sample I had brought home from work. I liked the paneer dish by far the best, of course, which Shobhit predicted and made by far the most of, filling the tall pressure cooker to the brim.
The fourth dish was also made from something he got at the West Seattle Farmers Market on Sunday, but which he made dinner out of on Sunday night, and now was leftovers: pumpkin. He just up and decided he wanted to make a pumpkin based dish for the first time. He also made taro root Sunday night, and that was all I really ate, taking only two bites of the pumpkin, not because of the flavor but because Shobhit made it way too spicy. He warned Alexia of this last night, and she took some anyway, but also gladly accepted some yogurt to help cut the spiciness. Shobhit was disappointed to discover he had accidentally gotten vanilla yogurt—standard practice with Indian food is to get plain—but Alexia noted that it worked well paired with the pumpkin. I should have tried that, maybe. I can't stand plain yogurt but vanilla flavored could have made a difference. I ate plenty of the paneer dish with rice anyway, along with the garbanzo bean, which honestly I didn't like as much with that sauce in it—it didn't taste bad per se, it was just a bit weird.
So: there was paneer vegetable; a garbanzo bean dish; okra; pumpkin; rice; and finally, best of all, the wonderful thing to eat with it all—freshly deep fried bhatura. Oh my god, that shit was good! There's more dough left so I have more of it to look forward to.
All three of us ate until we were full. We sat and hung out at the table for a bit. Then Shobhit brought out the cake. He asked if we had candles, and we actually still have a lot more birthday candles than I realized—for a second I thought we might actually have fifty! Alas, we only had 37 left. Dammit! Shobhit said he only wanted one candle anyway. Keep it simple, I guess. Well you know what? When I turn 48 and 49, no need—but when
I turn 50, I want fifty fucking candles on my birthday cake! You hear that, people? Haha, just kidding. I'll make sure of it myself, we already covered this.
"Should we sing?" Alexia asked, and I'd have been happy to. Maybe I should have just started singing, but Shobhit said, "No." I took a couple photos of him blowing out his one candle, which I find to be very cute and sweet. Luckily they were both "live photos," so I was able to save them as videos and stitch them together in iMovie to make them into a four-second video clip. That made me happy. And, Shobhit seemed genuinely happy yesterday. I love that, even though it's now how I would
ever approach my own birthday (spend all day cooking? fuck that!—getting Shobhit to cook for me, though? I'm all over that), Shobhit seemed to genuinely enjoy his 50th birthday.
Shobhit's and my birthdays are exactly six months apart on the calendar: mine is April 30, and his is October 30. Thus, he is exactly two and a half years older than I am. Two and a half more years, and we'll be celebrating
my 50th—which, incidentally, I am rather intent on celebrating with Dad and Sherri, ideally at their house, although if it makes it easier on them I may see if Gina and Beth are open to hosting.
In any case, I plan to go to Olympia for that birthday. Dad and Sherri went out of their way to celebrate the 50th birthdays of all my other siblings: Angel in 2019 (party at Dad and Sherri's house); Gina in 2021 (party at Dad and Sherri's house); and Christopher in 2022 (party in Wallace, Idaho). I sure as shit don't want to be the
only one of the four of us not to celebrate 50 with Dad and Sherri—although, by my birthday in 2026, Dad will be 70 and Sherri will be 74, so they may be a bit less up for the excitement than they had been seven years prior. Still, my vision is to have a birthday party in Olympia that's very easy for them to attend, and I will invite friends from Seattle, just making clear that there is no obligation for them to drive that far if it's a difficulty for them to do so. I just don't want to have a party and
not invite Danielle or Gabriel or Laney—or, perhaps Karen, and perhaps Alexia. Maybe Tracy. I wouldn't expect them all to be able to make it and I wouldn't be crushed. I would only be disappointed if something preventing me from keeping to the plan of celebrating my 50th with Dad and Sherri, and Angel and Gina (and even, ideally, Christopher, although it's a much bigger ask for him to come from Idaho), in Olympia.
And Shobhit, of course. Just to be clear! That should go without saying.
— पांच हजार पांच सौ दो —
[posted 12:32 pm]
