— पाँच हजार पाँच सौ इकतीस —
I'd say I had an eventful weekend, and perhaps I should have posted some updates over the weekend like I did previously—except that it was really just Sunday that was particularly eventful.
That is, unless you want to count a Holiday Movie Night at Alexia's condo next door on Friday night—we're taking a break from the Harrison Ford-athon to watch a couple of holiday movies in December.
I'd had my calendar marked tentatively for one of these movie nights on Wednesday, December 6, but Alexia wound up unavailable; I think, if I remember right, that was the week she had to take a last-minute work trip down to Portland. The next possible date we agreed on was Friday, December 15, and that worked out—even though she'd had a rough week yet again, and she admitted that she'd been tempted just to relax at home alone for the evening, but then she chose to "rally" and told herself a Christmas movie would perk her up.
I think that, in the end, it did. My first suggestion had been the 2005 Sarah Jessica Parker movie
The Family Stone, which is B-minus quality but I have a kind of nostalgic affection for it, largely because it's one of Sherri's favorites. One of these years I'll watch it again. Alexia countered with, "Have you seen that one with Hugh Grant"—and I immediately knew she was talking about
Love, Actually, which was already on my 2003 Christmas Movie Watch List anyway, so that's the one we went with. It was already streaming on Netflix (apparently leaving at the end of the month), so that worked out perfectly.
And: that movie is utterly preposterous, and a few small parts of it
really haven't aged well (which I noted in my
Letterboxd review, but it's still otherwise very silly and charming and we both really enjoyed watching it. Amazingly, that movie was released twenty years ago this year. There have since been a lot of
pieces online about the many things wrong with that movie, which by and large are actually valid. The movie really wouldn't work if it were released today. But, sometimes nostalgia goes a long way.
— पाँच हजार पाँच सौ इकतीस —
On Saturday, the least-eventful day of my weekend, Shobhit had a very long day of his own without me—working 9 to 5:30, then moving on to a members-only party for the Seattle chapter of SAG-AFTRA—during which I took myself to a movie at SIFF Cinema at the Uptown on Lower Queen Anne. It's a Finnish film called
Fallen Leaves, which has gotten virtually universal critical acclaim, and I was like . . .
meh.
It's possible I was unfair to it: I brought a hard cider with me to drink, and after not getting quite enough sleep Friday night, plus having an alcoholic beverage (its low alcohol content notwithstanding), I had a seriously hard time staying awake. I missed a few perhaps-important moments due to nodding off. I still feel like I got the gist from what I did see while awake, and in my defense, the comparatively few people giving the film the same rating I did on Letterboxd basically felt the same way about it. And I don't think every one of those people were also nodding off during the movie, which was just a bit too dry and deadpan for my taste.
— पाँच हजार पाँच सौ इकतीस —
So that brings us to Sunday—yesterday—when I did more things in that one day than either of the other days of the weekend combined. And the first thing was Happy Hour with Laney at The Cheesecake Factory, with a reservation made for 1:30. I met her at her building at 1:00, and then we walked the rest of the way down Pike Street together.
This restaurant is probably the one I have eaten at more than any other in Seattle, just by virtue of how often a bunch of us went there Tuesday nights after rehearsals while I was singing with the Seattle Lesbian and Gay Chorus between 2000 and 2004. It was during these outings that I first hung out with Laney, at least outside of chorus itself, in any capacity—although we did not forge a true friendship until she really came to my defense during the utter bullshit surrounding my departure from the chorus (as well as the Board of the chorus).
It was also the case for both of us, however, that it had been ages since we ate there.
Well, I guess not quite: I just looked up The Cheesecake Factory on my Google Calendar, and it appears I last ate there in March of 2017, a dinner with Ivan and Shobhit. This
happened last-minute after we had all three walked downtown intending to see the live-action
Beauty and the Beast, only to find it sold out for nearly the rest of the day.
So anyway, I last ate at The Cheesecake Factory five and a half years ago. Prior to that, it appears I had
seven brunches there with Susan between December 2010 and October 2011. We must have had some kind of frequency plan going on at that time, which I don't remember at all. What this does mean, though, is that I haven't eaten there with any semblance of frequency in well over a decade—and, prior to yesterday, I had only eaten there once in the past 12 years.
In my blog post from 2017, I never made any reference to menu prices, but holy shit, do I need to now: I had one meal and two cocktails, which with tax and tip came to
sixty-six-dollars. That's so fucking nuts, even Alexia was shocked when I told her about it last night, and I honestly think the only reason Shobhit didn't flip out when I told him was because he was in an unusually good mood yesterday. In any case, I had two of the pineapple Moscow Mule cocktail, which was so fucking delicious I had to stop myself from chugging it, but those were $15.50(!) each. The veggie burger plate I ordered was over $18. The entree alone wasn't too seriously outrageous by typical Seattle standards, honestly, but it was the cocktails that killed me. I actually budgeted $50 for this, which I'd have met if I had only had one cocktail, but Laney had two beers so I also ordered a second cocktail—which was so good! But, worth $15.50? Debatable. I was $16 over budget as a result.
We hung out at The Cheesecake Factory for about two hours, and then Laney wanted to go over to Westlake Park to check out the "Holiday Lights & Delights" display, even though it wasn't quite dark yet. She had been unable to joine Alexia and Shobhit and me when we went to check that out on Saturday the 9th. I took another 9 photos there with her, which took my "
Seattle Holiday Lights and Delights 2023" photo album up to 32 shots—still the second-smallest number of photos I've done
for this event over the past four years, but a lot closer than before, to the 35 shots I got last year.
I deliberately timed this so that we'd be done over there for me to catch a Rapid Rid D bus northbound, with Laney heading down to Westlake Station to catch Light Rail, as she needed to move her parked van and it was parked close to Capitol Hill Station anyway.
I thus took this opportunity to bus up to Total Wine & More, getting there within minutes of Shobhit's work shift ending. I got off the bus on 15th Avenue W, walked the bit up W Armory Way to Total Wine, and saw him through the windows clearly going through the process of ending his shift, after I put the burger leftovers I brought for him in the car.
Then, he kept talking to different people in the store as he worked his way toward the
back of the store, as opposed to toward the exit. So, I went inside, and slowly lurked several yards away so he wouldn't notice me. After speaking to a couple of other employees along the way, I saw he was headed to the men's room.
I followed him in there. Keep in mind, he had no idea I was coming to meet him—which we first discussed this, I wasn't sure I'd have time on Sunday, and we already established that I would otherwise come when he got off work on Tuesday. So, when I walked up behind him and looked over his shoulder standing at a urinal, it scared the shit out of him. He seemed almost unsure if he could decide it was funny, but I thought it was hilarious.
And, on the upside, we were then able to get some shopping done. We went to the shopping center next door to get some stocking stuffers for the cats at PetCo. And then, because it was the closest store to there, we went up to the Ballard PCC to get this week's Member Offer of a free pound of satsuma oranges, and also use two of my "Friends & Family" coupons for $10 off $20, which we used two separate transactions for to stock up on canned cat food. Then we drove home.
— पाँच हजार पाँच सौ इकतीस —
— पाँच हजार पाँच सौ इकतीस —
Okay, so now let's talk about the Dina Martina Christmas Show, which I went to last night with, of all people, Alexia.
Mind you, Alexia was my final fallback. I had no idea what she would make of Dina Martina, and she did not laugh quite as much as I did—I truly had a blast at this show—but the more the show went on, the more laughs it seemed to get out of her. A particularly great sight gag came late in the show when, after Alexia had already commented before the show how much she liked the grandfather clock on the stage, Dina walks over to it and opens the front panel to reveal it's actually a refrigerator, full of cocktail mixers. It was a very successful gag with the audience.
Anyway! The original plan had been to see this show with Laney. The run this year (and perhaps other years and I just didn't realize it) had a select few dates with "pay what you choose" options, with three different amounts to choose from, the lowest being $20. This was how we landed on December 17, because it was one of only three dates with pay-what-you-can options, and this was the one that worked best for both of us. It was the 8pm show on a Sunday night, which wasn't the most ideal but we could live with it. Mind you, also, there were never two pay-what-you-can seats right next to each other, so I booked one of those for Laney, and a regular-price seat (at that price-tiered level, anyway) for myself. There had actually been service fees still on top of that, but I still only had Laney Venmo me back $20, and the balance that I then paid for the two tickets together was $47. This, for this type of show, was reasonable.
But, things changed for Laney after she had to cancel
three other engagements we had planned together (Great Figgy Pudding Caroling Competition; the first planned date for Holiday Lights & Delights; Holiday in the Park), and she got to thinking about the state of her health and her unique vulnerability. She emailed me on December 8 to ask if I could find someone else to go to Dina Martina, and she would just give her ticket away and not ask for it to be paid for. She thought a lot about a full theater house with the majority of people not wearing masks, and even with her wearing a mask, she was less and less comfortable with it—we have to remember that, with Laney on heart medications she's been on since her 2014 heart attack, if she were to get covid she would be unable to take the prescription meds for it she'd otherwise get because they can't be combined with her heart meds. Her best bet if she gets covid is just Aspirin.
I totally understand this concern. I rather wish it had come to her before I booked the tickets, but, that a minor irritation. That's life.
The broader point is: this left me with trying to find someone else to use this ticket, which would otherwise just be a seat that went to waste. The first person I thought of was Danielle, for no other reason than: with Laney out of contention, of all the friends who
might be interested, I think she'd have the greatest appreciation for Dina Martina's uniquely campy sensibility.
Well, when I first texted Danielle, the conversation quickly pivoted to her having been home sick with her first-ever known case of covid. So then, I followed up at the end of that week to see if she might be recovered enough to go to the show with me, and she said that, having been out sick, she had way too much to get done before Christmas and just didn't think she'd have the time. Okay, that's fine, I genuinely understand, I totally get it. But then she sent me this couple of texts that kind of blew my hair back:
And plan something with me, I don't want to be your backup
That's not the type of friendship I dig
. . . Uh. Excuse me?
I really made an effort not to respond immediately, because I was sorely tempted to say something I knew I would regret. Still, within three minutes I texted her that I genuinely just thought it was a show she might enjoy, and reminded her that she had once offered me a spare ticket to a standup show after a date canceled last minute, and it had been great. (Are the "rules of friendship" different for me than for her, or what?)
She responded:
I just want time to be intentional. That's all
I still fail to see how this was different from the standup show scenario, except that the tables were turned, and for some reason she had a problem with it then. So, I responded with multiple options for "intentional" time we could spend together, and of course offered a response that was entirely non-committal, and "We'll figure something out." Perhaps we will. Sometime next year, presumably.
So, okay. Danielle's out.
I had to consult my latest Social Review rankings to get a full list of who I spend the most time with, to see who I should consider next. I already knew Shobhit was out; he came with me once when Dina Martina had a show in L.A., and it really didn't work out—he was
not into it, and he really didn't get Dina Martina. Having him use the ticket would be just as much of a waste as it not getting used at all.
But: then I thought, Tracy! I texted her a couple of times. I think she'd really enjoy Dina Martina. But, with Tracy, it's more about Tracy's own sensibility, and her mood about going out at any given time. When she ultimately texted me that she was "trying to decide" whether or not she'd prefer just to chill at home Sunday night, I decided then that it was time to run the idea by Alexia, which I did when I had my Holiday Movie Night with her on Friday.
I'm going to digress for a moment. Of all the friends I spend a lot of time with, Alexia and I are, no question, the most divergent when it comes to politics—not national politics necessarily, but local politics for sure. I think she thinks of herself, basically, as a "moderate progressive" (not a phrase she's used, but for lack of a better one), one who thus seems downright conservative to the many far-left people in this area. She has a tendency to spend more time defending the police than criticizing them, for example, and the very fact that she works in chemical distribution for a gigantic corportation definitely colors her attitudes about certain things.
I only bring this up because, it makes me really appreciate her all the more when she offers the kind of support, as a friend (if not as a strict political ally), that I actually get from few others. She was super supportive of Shobhit's City Council campaign, even though I suspect she'd have voted for one of the other candidates had she not known Shobhit personally. She even marched with us in the Pride Parade. She really has a history, now, of going above and beyond what I might normally expect of any friend or neighbor.
And all of this brings me back to Dina Martina. Alexia does not have extensive exposure to the queer community. She certainly has gay friends—in fact she is literally surrounded by them: Mike and Michael are her neighbors on the other side of her condo, and she's known them well far longer than she'd known me very well. But, she has somewhat limited understanding of the trans experience, and has struggled somewhat with how to relate to a particular colleague who is in the process of transitioning. She probably hasn't ever been to a drag show at all, let alone one like Dina Martina, so I had no idea what she'd make of her, and I told her so.
And still: even though she's usually in bed by 8:30 every night, and this was an 8:00 show on a Sunday night—she even told me last night that it's been many years since she's been up this late on a Sunday night—she stepped up, clearly because she knew I'd prefer not to have that ticket go to waste. How cool is that? She genuinely made some real sacrifice to accompany me to this show last night, which to some degree she didn't let me forget, but all I could do was express my genuine appreciation for her coming along. And, in the end, she clearly had a good time. She said so, but I could tell she wasn't just blowing smoke up my ass.
I told her about how, until 2017, the Dina Martina Christmas show was always put on at Re-bar, a longtime Seattle-instutuion gay/dive bar. I miss those days, as the comparatively cramped, more intimate setting for those shows was much more suited to this type of show, and when she first moved to ACT Theatre in 2018 (both because of Re-bar closing and because of the death of local comic legend Peggy Platt, which meant their annual
Ham for the Holidays show, which I also used to go to every chance I got, could no longer happen in that venue), I felt a bit of dissonance about it, and didn't like the show quite as much, on a stage and in a theater that were so much larger.
Well, time can really be our friend, and while I can't remember why I never managed to go to the Dina Martina Christmas Show in 2019, by 2020 we were having to settle for her moderately successful, nowhere near as good as the real thing, virtual version of the show in 2020, last night was my first time seeing her life in five years. I no longer felt the dissonance, and whether it was just because of the time passed or (equally as likely) she just got the hang of writing for this different style of venue, last night I thought the show was fantastic, and fucking hilarious. Oh my god, I laughed a lot.
I'd have had a great time even by myself, but it's so much more fun when you have someone to go with. Alexia even inferred at one point that, were I to invite her again next year, she'd probably go with me again. I may want to be more conscientious about the timing though, and book a showtime that's not the evening show, particularly on a Sunday.
Shobhit and I had gotten back from shopping shortly after 6:00, which gave me barely an hour before Alexia and I were set to walk downtown. We also barely squeezed in an episode of
As Time Goes By, which we were surprised to discover had their usual two episodes on Saturday night, after two or three weekends with alternate programming having aired. We began to assume they were pausing
As Time Goes By on PBS for the holidays. And, the episode we watched was really funny. I also laughed a lot at that.
I laughed a lot yesterday. In the end, a genuinely great day.
— पाँच हजार पाँच सौ इकतीस —
[posted 12:34 pm]
