Okay, I have a lot to share about this tree that Shobhit and I saw at Newstead Park in Brisbane last month.

This first section I already shared on my socials, and was already reposted on this blog as part of this morning's Twitter digest—but there is a reason I am including it here, as there will be much more to add:

A bit of a story with this one, a tree with truly unusual fruits hanging from it, the likes of which neither Shobhit nor I had ever seen, noticed while Shobhit and I walked through Newstead Park in Brisbane, as we tried in vain (at first) to find the loading dock for River City Cruises.

I even asked a couple of local guys walking by if they knew what the hell this was. They had no idea either.

Exactly one month after this photo was taken, I finally thought to find a "Brisbane" page on Reddit, post this photo there, and ask if anyone could tell me what kind of tree it was.

I got answers from two different people within, like, literally two minutes: "Sausage Tree," native to Africa. And here I thought I was seeing a fascinating tree indigenous to Australia! That's kind of annoying but whatever. (There later came some pretty funny responses in the comments.)

The species is thus Kigelia africana, and the nickname "Sausage Tree" clearly comes from the shape of the fruit, which is what those dangling things are: an apparently poisonous(!) berry that can weigh "between 11 and 22 lbs but occasionally up to 26 lbs."

Maybe I should get myself some seeds from this plant. It would be perfect for all my sausage parties!

****

Okay, so now we're going to segue, into what the comments section on that Reddit post became overwhelmed with: "drop bears."

It took a minute for me to realize the reference to "drop bears" were a joke. And only later did I learn that, joke or not, this concept is apparently a widespread of Australian culture. But first, after two or three references, I finally Googled it, and found the Wikipedia page: The drop bear (sometimes dropbear) is a hoax in contemporary Australian folklore featuring a predatory, carnivorous version of the koala. This imaginary animal is commonly spoken about in tall tales designed to scare tourists. While koalas are typically docile herbivores (and are not bears), drop bears are described as unusually large and vicious marsupials that inhabit treetops and attack unsuspecting people (or other prey) that walk beneath them by dropping onto their heads from above.

I find this surprising and delightful. Also I have no recollection of Uncle David or Mary Ann ever telling me about them. Surely they have knowledge of it.

So now, I must share my favorite comments about drop bears on my Reddit post:

This was under a comment suggesting the tree fruits were "drop bear cocoons":

Yep, I think the tree is an "Ursus Arborus Mortiferus", (latin designation) and it is known to be the home of a rare and elusive creature: the drop-bear.
For those that are unaware, the drop-bear is a fearsome creature that has a reputation for attacking unsuspecting hikers and tourists who wander too close to its tree. It is said to drop from the branches above and pounce on its prey with razor-sharp claws and teeth.
But there is something else that makes the drop-bear unique: its cocoon. Unlike most other animals, the drop-bear begins its life as a tiny, helpless creature that needs protection from the harsh Australian environment. So it spins a cocoon made of ursus leaves, which hang from a branch and protect the baby drop-bear until it is strong enough to venture out on its own.
And now, it looks like some of these cocoons are about to hatch. They are ripe, which meant that the baby drop-bears inside are almost ready to emerge.
I would give the tree a wide berth OP, and if you do need to pass, particularly at night, consider wearing a helmet, or at the very least a hat for protection.

Other choice comments:

drop bears are our national hidden secret they're more cute than koalas

The drop bears are pupating.

Yeah that’s def going to be a drop bear infestation in a few weeks. They are a native so killing them is illegal. They might look cute an cuddly at first, but like most things in Australia they will be trying to kill you. Oh and welcome to Aussie!

Don't listen to the people who said they're drop bear eggs, they're just trying to scare you. Drop bear eggs hang under leaves to protect them from birds of prey. Those are remains of drop bear victims wrapped in an adhesive coccoon made from a special semi-digested vomit referred to as "Potl" (pronounced like Poddle) These are made for baby drop bears who cannot hunt for themselves yet. They wrap the remains of their victims from these coccoons and hang them off branches to dry which forms the solid nut-like casing, while the bacteria and acid in the potl inside remains wet, this continues to digest the remains, liquefying them so they can be consumed by the babies, which will not only obtain crucial nutrients, but will also inherit their parent's microbiome so they can do the same. Don't worry though, humans are too large for drop bear to do this, these are mostly small birds and mammals. Though keep your newborns away from these trees, just to be safe.

You would somehow be more informed but less smart as a result of finding out about drop bears.

Then, under that first long comment I shared, a sub-thread that proved surprisingly educational, about how much this mythical creature factored into Australians' childhoods:

A quintessential childhood memory for many Aussie kids is when we'd play Drop Bear chicken. You throw a scissors-paper-rock and whoever loses has to run a few laps round the drop bear tree. I would always be so scared, I've never ran around a tree faster in my whole life! Nowadays I can't believe kids are so stupid to play a game like this. School assemblies here often discuss dangers and awareness for Drop Bear cocoons. They had a little rhyme for it but I've forgot it now.

A response under that:

In the land down under, the drop bear's tree, A fearsome creature, with sharp claws you'll see. Beware its cocoon, made of leaves up high, Stay on the path, or danger is nigh. Give them space, let them hatch with glee, And admire the beauty of nature, so free.

A different person offered a different rhyme:

Baby drop bear in the tree I pray that you don't land on me Please don't bite me on the head or I will bleed until I'm dead.
And at the end the kids would all fall on the ground and do dramatic fake deaths.

Another person responded, You just transported me back to the 90's in school, we used to sing this before parade on Drop Bear Day, to which yet another replied, I fucking love this country.

And finally, I have to admit, this person completely had me in the first paragraph, and I was thinking "This person needs to get over themselves"—until I read further:

Please, those from outside Australia, don’t listen to all this drop bear fear mongering. And to all those Australians who think this is a funny joke, please just stop it. Giving incorrect information like this to foreigners is just dangerous and does nothing to enhance the reputation of our country.
Drop bears are mammals, and akin to kangaroos are also marsupials. They do not grow in cocoons. Juvenile drop bears are relatively harmless (although there are always exceptions), but generally speaking you won’t find them nesting in public places. If you’re hiking, please just take an experienced guide with you and you’ll generally be fine. You’re far more likely to be bitten by an eastern brown or a funnel web or mouse spider than killed by a drop bear.
Most drop near maulings are not fatal, and as long as you don’t try to directly pull one off someone, you’ll be ok, eventually. Your guide will be trained in how to extract their claws without causing further damage and you’ll be ok after a few days to continue your holiday.

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In other news, I spent most of my evening last night at Steamworks, my first time back there since November. I avoided it from then until going to Australia, mostly to avoid the risk of passing on covid at holiday gatherings. I always knew I wanted to return to a bathhouse in Sydney, though, and indeed I did; it was actually a disappointing experience. I'll spare you the details, which I'm sure most readers here would prefer, but I will say that last night largely made up for that.

I got home, and Shobhit had not made any dinner as he wasn't feeling well, in a weird way. Really bad gas pains. I had taken home a sample of veggie tunafish, and since I have this weird nostalgia for tunafish sandwiches from when I ate meat, I always like getting samples like that. So I made myself a quick and easy veggie tunafish sandwich. I overdid it a little on the mayo, unfortunately. I did the same thing the last time I got a veggie tuna sample.

I spent the next hour or so working on tagging photos from Australia. I got through all the many, many photos from the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade, tagging whichever contingents I could identify. I actually got most of them. Back in 2020 I was able to tag all of them, because the event website very helpfully had every single contingent listed in order! Presumably because of all the other content they needed to prepare and post for World Pride this year, they didn't have a full, numbered list this year—just an alphabetical one, which isn't super helpful.

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I'm delayed in posting this today because we're all scrambling to key a bunch of price changes in time for them to batch on Monday, due to a last-minute policy change decision from management. It’s a real pain in the ass. I would have forgotten to post this at all, or until much later, except Shobhit texted me that he didn't see a post yet. Well, here it is!

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[posted 1:29 pm]