Okay, well, I don't want to bury the lede here, which is who will be Best Man at Andy's wedding. I did mention in yesterday's post that I got a call from Gabriel with the news that Andy had tested positive for covid, and Gabriel was trying to decide who would fulfill Best Man duties at the wedding ceremony itself in his stead. He seemed to be trying to decide between Garret and me, and I got the sense that he was leaning toward me, just because of the family drama with the one other brother of theirs who isn't expected to be at the wedding—to the consternation of many (to put it mildly).

The Best Man will be: nobody! We went through the whole rehearsal process, sort of as if Andy would be there: we still made space for five groomspeople (I'm avoiding "groomsmen" because Mandy is on Gabriel's side, leaving only four out of the five actually being men—or three and a half if you consider me), even though only four will actually be there. We are just leaving a space in honor of Andy, whose status as "Best Man" remains intact.

So what of the official ceremonial duties, then? Well, I won't be handing over the rings—even though I have now been placed closest to Gabriel among the groomspeople (Mandy behind me; then Garret, then Brian). This is going to seem like a wild non sequitur, but it isn't really: I haven't mentioned yet that the ceremony will also feature a goat. The woman who will be handling the goat is Joan, wife of Ben the Officiant, who is also Lea's brother. Joan will have the rings with her when she brings the goat down the aisle, and at a particular point she will get up and hand the rings over—to Ben, if I remember right. And then he will pass the rings over to Gabriel and Lea to give to each other.

This all was not made clear until the ceremony rehearsal was actually taking place. When we all arrived, we still didn't know what the plan was. After leaving Luther Burbank Park on Mercer Island at 3:07, I was only the second car to arrive at North Fork Farms, at 3:40. The one car already there was the Maid of Honor, Julie, and her husband (boyfriend? partner? I'm assuming husband), Ryan. Shortly after that, Brian arrived, and then Garret.

Brian had not yet heard that Andy has covid, and although I wasn't sure exactly how Gabriel wanted that news rolled out, Brian heard the news from Garret and me, the two whom Gabriel had called in the wake of getting the news. Brian asked who will be acting as Best Man then, and when Garret said, "Nobody knows," I decided I'd just keep my mouth shut about that. Garret said he had even already texted Andy to ask if there was anything he'd like him to say on his behalf in a speech, which was something I had already considered doing, but hadn't yet, only because it was not yet clear whether I would officially be stepping into the role in any way. Garret noted that he hadn't heard back from Andy (whether that has to do with how sick Andy is with it, I have no idea; there has been no indication from anyone as to how he's actually feeling, physically—from our perspective, all that matters is he tested positive and therefore won't be coming).

Soon enough, all the others arrived, Gabriel running a bit late and arriving last. I don't know how big our group was but it was larger than I realized it would be. I suppose if you take nine people outside the marrying couple, totalling 11, maybe half of them there with partners, that would be around 16, with at least three parental figures, plus Tess and at least one woman with a baby, oh and the Officiant and his wife . . . I don't know, it must have been around 20, or somewhere between 20 and 25. I'd lean closer to 25 I think.

We had all gone inside the venue, and Mandy asked me where Andy was. I kind of hemmed and hawed a little bit, and when she said, "Is something wrong?" I said, "Well, yeah." So, finally I just told her: Andy has covid.

We all feel really badly for Andy. For all we know, he feels like shit just from being sick. On top of that, he's not making it to the wedding, which I can only imagine he feels really bad about. And that's not, of course, to discount how disappointed Gabriel must be. What timing.

It was around the time we all gathered outside to start the rehearsal that Gabriel finally piped up and made the announcement. Finally, everyone knew. And that was when Garret and I found out who would be Replacement Best Man: nobody. An empty space, in honor of the person who should be there. Andy also spent a great deal of money on a suit, helping Gabriel a great deal in the detailed tayloring of his suit as well. Andy deliberately had a suit made that matched what will be a dark burgundy color of Gabriel's suit—now unusable.

I know Gabriel really struggled with how to move forward with Andy unable to come, for at least a short while. When he spoke to me yesterday, Lea had been given the news but shortly after had to attend a work meeting. I'm guessing they finally talked it over later last night, and came to this decision that honestly does make the most sense. I absolutely would have stepped up had Gabriel wanted me to—as I already noted, this would have been a lot easier for me than having to organize any kind of bachelor party—but I also have no problem with this decision. (Not that I'd have any right to have a problem with it anyway.) I have a respect for what had been the plan all along—Andy has been the Best Man at all three of Gabriel's weddings—and for the desire to honor that even with his inability to come.

It did occur to me later that this will mean that, among all of Gabriel's friends, I'll be the only one who has been at all three of his weddings. I win!

Anyway, we went through the motions of the ceremony twice over, and Emily, the wedding planner, was both organized and personable, with a nice sense of humor, even giving certain people shit when appropriate. The experience is going to be a lot different tomorrow when all the wedding guests are all also there, but I can also really appreciate the difference it makes and how important it is that a rehearsal actually take place.

Suddenly I'm thinking of Danielle and Patrick's wedding rehearsal back in 2005. They wound up outside in a screaming match with each other. I think Danielle even threatened to call off the wedding at one point. I officiated both that wedding and Gabriel's 2012 wedding. Danielle and I were still in our twenties in 2005 (albeit barely), so I'll cite that as at least somewhat of an excuse. We're all grownups now. Nobody got into a fight last night, it was all super chill and fun. It's enough to make you think everyone should wait to get married until after the age of 35.

From the wedding venue, we all went over to a large house just down the road and up a gated road until the house was found right along the North Fork Snoqualmie River. There was no indoor dining or the Rehearsal Dinner, but rather takeout pizza at two picnic tables outside of a pool house. Gabriel never made it quite clear how he secured this space, only that someone lives in this house and we needed to be respectful of that. (There were rental units outside the house, I think they might be AirBnBs.) At one point, pretty far into the dinner, an older, Asian man opened the door after one of two little girls, maybe his grandchildren, kept peeking through the door, which was in the middle of glass walls lining the pool house, inside of which the pool was under a cover. Lea went and grabbed some of the custom Star Wars sugar cookies for the two little girls. She went back twice to get more, one for the older man and one for his presumed wife. But he just gave two each to the two little girls.

This entire area has apparently been heavily featured in previous seasons of The Bachelor, something I have never watched but which Gabriel and Mandy are both obsessed with. Apparently the beautiful tree-lined driveway up to this house has been featured as well, and sometimes people rent just that drive for photo ops. I just stuck my phone out the window, in the backseat of Mandy and David's car because some of us capooled over from the venue to save space in the much smaller parking area, and got my own little video clip.

It took a minute to get the gate open, by the way. Mandy and David and I were the second car, behind Lea's parents, to reach the gate, and about five cars backed up behind us, waiting to turn in. In the shot I got, you can see another car driving up to pass on the wrong side of the road. I didn't see it, but according to Mandy, whoever was driving that car was very annoyed with us, not just honking but flipping us all off as they passed. Bless their hearts.

The pizza was delicious, all of it personal pizzas for each of us; I had requested the Margherita. I also partook in some of the cheese bread and marinara sauce. And one of the cookies. I ate too much yesterday, which I have been doing for way too long, as this photo clearly demonstrates. The paunch you see on me in that photo is going to haunt my nightmares. Why can't I do something effective, like develop bulimia? I just hate throwing up!

Also: Tess designed and hosted a murder mystery game for us all to play during the Rehearsal Dinner. I don't know what the hell I would have done had I been designated the killer—thank god I wasn't. At first I didn't quite understand what my scroll—which apparently Stephanie helped Tess make—said, and I kind of gave myself away as not the killer when I told Many as much.

I guess if you were designated the killer, you choose someone as an accomplice, and then try to get someone to drink from a certain cup with a black dot under it, that being the "poison" that makes the murder victim. In the end, two people were "poisoned"! They were taken away and then brought back, and the rest of us had to decide who was the killer. Ben, for some reason, was the only person who suspected me, although one other person (Mandy, maybe?) made a passing accusation toward me as well: "Matthew's being awful quiet." I said, "I'm always quiet." I also said, "Just because I'm capable of it doesn't mean I did it."

We had to go around and cast our vote for who was the murderer, and if the person with the most votes was correct, then we won the game; if it wasn't, then the killer goes free. Julie, the Maid of Honor, got the most votes—and she was not the killer.

The person who ultimately was the killer was perfect, as he was easy to be the one everyone least expected. Tess took a lot of her own video footage of all this, apparently as part of her film class, and she took a lot of "ITMs" or "In the Moment" asides with people. She asked me who I suspected, and I had no idea. I really didn't; I don't know most of these people well enough to have a take. I said, "I have no take," and Tess said, "You could just say that." So, that's what I did. Tess got a one-second video of me saying, "I have no take," which seemed to amuse her.

The whole thing was fun for all of us, as was the entire evening. Tomorrow should be even better. I even wrote a speech on my Notes app while I was still in bed this morning, so I guess I'm prepared for that regardless, at least. I don't want to run the risk of being the only person in the wedding party who doesn't say anything. I said something at the 2006 wedding reception, and I officiated the 2012 one. I might as well be consistent.

[posted 11:01 am]