I tried not to mention my Birth Week at Gabriel's party yesterday, I really did! It's just, a couple of times, other people asked me about it. Gabriel even asked me at one point, "Does this count?" and I said yes. His mom, Janine, was happy to hear me say that as well, even though she didn't quite understand what Gabriel meant. Janine wanted to be part of my next Social Review—and, indeed, she will. What Gabriel was asking, more specifically, was if his own birthday party, occurring three days after his actual birthday and thus by chance overlapping with my Birth Week, was going to count as his participation in my Birth Week this year.
As soon as Lea texted Gabriel's other friends Andy and Mandy and me to see if we'd all be available on Saturday, I knew that would indeed kill these two birds with one stone, even though it did mean I wouldn't be finding any other "Hidden Gem" for us to go to together somewhere in Federa Way, as I initially intended. (I later took care of that with my Birth Week post on socials by just
declaring Gabriel himself a hidden gem. Birth Week 2023 theme matched!
To be honest, I was a little surprised when Lea texted Andy and Mandy and me about this, on April 12. This would be the first actual party of any sort they've hosted at their house since before the pandemic, and Gabriel is still anxious about exposure to other people, and still asks any visitors to do covid tests before coming over (which I do happily). Indeed, even Lea still qualified that they would like us all to test before coming to this party.
And, in the end, a party initially thought to total eight people—that alone being exponentially more than Gabriel and Lea have had in their house in probably more than three years—later grew to nearly double that, due to the decision to fold in his family, all of whom also came. I never did see his little brother Marcus and his family, who apparently were set to come over after the rest of us left, so there was never any more than eleven people at the house at one point. When it comes to concepts of exposure, though, that's hardly relevant: fourteen or fifteen people at the house over the course of a day is still that many people sharing the same air.
Sometimes I think Gabriel suspects I'm flipping him shit when I ask him questions about this sort of stuff, but I'm really not—it comes from an earnest place. i want him to be comfortable. Lea clearly does too, and she apparently told him about the party on Wednesday—his actual birthday—to give him time to mentally prepare. I even asked him at one point, "How are you doing with all this?" I can't recall the precise words of his answer, but I think the long and short of it was—not great, but okay. He was coping. I think he did appreciate having all these people who care about him coming out for him. I think there was maybe also at least some level of struggle with it—and not in reference to any given person per se, but just in terms of the sheer number of people around.
The weather was slightly chilly, but mostly decent, and thankfully dry, except for just a couple light sprinkles. There was always the intent to keep people outside on the back patio as much as possible, and for most of the party, that was indeed what happened. Gabriel set patio furniture in a circle around the fire pit, and once people had grabbed food from the
lovely vegetarian spread Lea had set up—including delicious Beyond Meat veggie sausage links—they all gravitated out there.
When I arrived, I didn't even go through the house. I parked out front, but walked through the side gate to the back and up the stairs to the second-story patio, where Mandy and Andy—who apparently had arrived at the same time, and actually met each other in person for the first time yesterday—already were. I kind of startled Mandy, probably because I wasn't expected to come from that direction.
Gabriel was coming out the back door when I approached it, wanting to bring in my gift for him. I said, "Happy brithday!" and practically pressed it against his chest. I didn't even realize he had something in both his hands so couldn't easily take it. I just took it inside an set it down on the counter. He later opened presents that virtually everyone brought for him (thank god I did!; I would not necessarily have any given time I went to a birthday party, even if I probably should). What I got him was purchased at Total Wine & More, where Shobhit works: I knew I wanted to get him whiskey, and I also wanted to buy something local—"
Oregon Spirit" qualified as close enough in my mind. Also, Shobhit himself had insisted that I should spend a bit on this to make sure it was of high quality.
Still, before Gabriel opened the gift, I said, "I have no idea how much you'll like this. Not a clue." That made him laugh. What a salesman! Well, he was even impressed with it being "bottled in bond,"
whatever the fuck that means—something he has been seeking out in his bourbons lately, apparently. Turns out, the type of whiskey I got him was serendipitously perfect. He actually opened it
and drank it surprisingly immediately, amusingly in a beer glass that was a gift from his brother Garret, the glass being amazingly special in some apparently deeply impressive way that I can't recall.
Pretty early on at the party, Gabriel told me not to post any of the photos I took of the party on my socials—he didn't want any of Facebook friends of his seeing that he had hosted a party, and he didn't want to deal with anyone who wasn't there feeling left out. I get it. He was very serious about it, too: he mentioned it two or three times.
So finally I asked: does he mind if I post a photo of just him and me, if I don't indicate that it's a party? Gabriel said that was okay. Shortly before I left the party, I went to take a selfie with Gabriel on his back patio, with his lush garden backyard in the background. Andy was nearby and so he offered to take the photo. Gabriel posed goofily at first, but Andy snapped several shots, and I kept two of them: one goofy, one genuine. The genuine shot that I kept is easily one of the best photos ever taken of Gabriel and me together.
I was headed to Jennifer's house in Union after this, and had hoped to head out by mid-afternoon, late afternoon at the latest; it was indeed late afternoon once I actually left, but kind of barely—I didn't leave until about 4:45, and didn't get to Jennifer until about ten after 6:00, by which time Jennifer was really hungry and more than ready to head out to dinner. But, you know what? Getting that photo with Gabriel made it all worth it!
Because Shobhit needed his car for the weekend, I rented a car for a couple of days—I picked it up from the Avis location at the Homewood Suites hotel on Pike and Boren yesterday morning. I'm not a car person, so I didn't truly register what I was in for when the guy at the counter told me I would be driving a Jeep Wrangler. But then I found the thing in the parking spot I was told to and I thought,
Jesus
Could any car be less "Matthew" than a Jeep Wrangler? When the fuck was I going to go "off roading"? The closest I got all weekend was the driveway up to Jennifer's house in the woods just outside Union. This weird juxtaposition also cracked me up, though, and the vehicle—which was also a hybrid, which I didn't even realize until Andy noted it, and then I was like, oh so that's why it's so quiet!—drove surprisingly easily. It was still shakier than I would have preferred, certainly more than a lot of the rentals I've had with astonishingly smooth handling, but also not nearly as bouncy as, say, the non-hybrid Jeep Danielle used to drive back in the late nineties. (She tried to teach me how to drive a stick in that car, and gave up when she thought my inability to get it right was going to damage it. I never did learn how to drive a stick.)
Plenty of other people at the party yesterday, including Gabriel, were also amused by the fact that I was driving a Jeep Wrangler. (Multiple people
on Facebook also noted how it also had WILLYS stenciled on the side.) I was last of the initial party-goers to arrive, although Gabriel surmised that I would be coming when he saw the photo of the Jeep I posted. I blocked two different cars in his driveway, and then it was discovered their neighbors were
also hosting a party of some kind, with some of their guests assuming the cars in front of Gabriel and Lea's house were overflow from that party. Lea's friend Julie and I both then drove our card around the block to part in the limited space they have for parking behind the house.
I wound up
digging some tire grooves into the grass right by the road, which Gabriel wasn't thrilled about—I kind of love that picture though. There had been some thought about my parking up a slightly steep slope there, but I couldn't get it there. "I thought you'd get some momentum first," Gabriel later replied after I said I was just doing what he told me to do. Well, even though I do drive with some regularity, I still have never owned a car of my own and therefore don't drive enough to necessarily know the logical approach to more unusual driving circumstances, as I just haven't faced them enough times. Then he was worried about how close I parked to the Free Little Library posted by the street there. When I left and backed out, which I actually did very carefully, he noted how close I had come to hitting it. Well, I didn't hit it! He then waited until I pulled away before going back to the house, standing there staring at me as though afraid I might still destroy something with this Jeep, even though by that point I was well away from anything and into that side road back there. I had been texting Jennifer about what time I expected to be there and didn't even realize Gabriel had still kept standing there waiting for me to leave until I looked up again.
I suppose he was just carrying out his own sense of etiquette, taking the act of walking someone out when they leave to its full conclusion. Gabriel has a strong sense of the proper way to be polite in social scenarios, especially if he's hosting. We did chat for a few minutes before I pulled out, and it was nice to get some brief one-on-one time, which doesn't get to happen much at parties. When I later posted the photo of him and myself, I thought the idea of regarding
him as the "hidden gem" and captioning it like a review was pretty clever. (Gabriel's
response, as though he were a "business owner" thanking me for my feedback, was even cleverer.)
The fact that the party was even a brunch was largely because of me—as when Lea had texted Andy and Mandy and me about our availability yesterday, I said I would be in the afternoon but not the evening. I then suggested a brunch, and that was the idea she rolled with. Andy even replied,
What?!? There's a chance to be a good friend and celebrate Gabriel AND be in bed by 9!!? Yes! Glad to hear we're on the same page.
Gabriel will probably hate this: fairly early at the party, Andy, not for the first time since I've known him, said to me, "You're aging
so well!" He wasn't even the last person this weekend to tell me how good I looked. Not that I need any boosts to my ego, like ever, but I've been feeling more disappointed lately in how I increasingly actually look my age, so it was pretty nice to be hearing that. I countered Andy's flattering comment by . . . asking if he recently got over something, because his voice sounded unusually gravelly. Turns out, that's just his voice! (It sounded less gravely later, to be fair.)
Anyway. I need to post this and get to bed, even though I'm sure there are other things about the party I could be mentioning and I'm not remembering them. I do, of course, have
a full photo album on Flickr dedicated just to Gabrie's birthday brunch, totalling 28 shots, three of them quite amusing video clips.
I also did request some group photos: I wanted a shot of Gabriel with his three close friends who attended: Andy (who has known Gabriel even longer than I have, since high school—Gabriel and I met in college); Mandy (whose known him for roughly a decade; they used to work at the same school together); and me. I'm on a frequently-used text group with the four of them, plus Lea, which someone log ago titled "We're Too Old for This Shit." So, I then asked for a shot with that same group, but now including Lea, so that we'd basically have a photo of the "We're Too Old for This Shit gang." As soon as the photo was set to the group, Mandy updated the group chat photo with it.
Many has been cracking for months that Andy doesn't actually exist, largely because he only responds in the group sparingly. I was kind of sad to have missed them finally meeting; apparently they both arrived at the same time, which was pretty funny.
We're all hoping that one day, soon-ish at least, the five of us can get together to hang out again. Maybe in the summer when it's more reliably warm and we can stay outside more comfortably. I would actually look forward to that.
[posted 11:56 pm]
