defiantly optimistic
As of last night, I have gone to the movies 91 times so far in 2019. Because I tend to see well over 100 movies a year, and usually at minimum around 100, I'm always weirdly obsessed with making it to about that number each year. I also often look back to see where my current number compares to where I was at the same date last year. (I reached 110 total last year; by October 16 I was at #87—so, I guess, I'm ahead so far YTD.) I already have 18 more movies on my calendar throughout the rest of the year, which means at the very least I'm going to hit 109 for this year -- almost certainly several more, as I never know the release of more independent or foreign films until closer to when they actually happen, so plenty haven't even been put on my calendar yet.
I'm always thinking of these things when I consider whether to skip a movie that might be a waste of my time. I mean, it's obviously dumb to see a movie I'll either hate or be bored with just to keep the numbers up, right? The thing is, in spite of the fairly low 45 score on MetaCritic, I really thought I might still at least be moderately amused by the animated feature version of The Addams Family, which I took myself to see right after work yesterday. Boy, was I wrong. That movie was just boring. It didn't legitimately irritate me, the way Joker did, but being completely forgettable on all fronts is almost even less forgivable. I mean, make a mark with your movie in some way or another! It meant I couldn't even much enjoy writing the review, which I did right after getting back home, because I had no passionate take on any part of it.
All I can say is, the live action films from the early nineties are far, far better, and still hold up in a way this movie never will.
Anyway that sucked up my entire evening, really. Even though it was a short movie, at 87 minutes, with the countless trailers beforehand at a 5:05 screening at Pacific Place it was nearly 7:00 when I walked out of there, and roughly 7:15 when I got home. Well after 8:00 by the time I was done with my review. I just sort of dinked around online for the next hour or so and then I was in bed by about 9:30, asleep by around 10. Exciting stuff!
What else, then? I've kind of got nothing. Let's see . . . I'm enjoying the weather! Intermittent rain yesterday; I had to use my umbrella when walking from the bus downtown to work, but not from work back downtown to the movie; but again on the walk home from the movie. I took my umbrella to work today but did not have to use it this morning, yet almost certainly will between work and the movie I see on Lower Queen Anne this evening. And again tomorrow. And Saturday and Monday and Sunday, rain rain rain, yay! This shit is what I'm talking about, in October at least.
People always act so thrilled and excited when it is unseasonably warm, mostly because it's almost never that much warmer than it should be. All I can ever think about is the averages, which are the fundamental problem, as the averages consistently go up, and that is precisely what's going to fuck us in the end. Maybe I'll die of old age before we're too fucked, though. Who knows! I sure am glad I never had any children. It's not like I have no concern for other people's children—particularly my nieces and nephews—but surely it would be different if I had kids of my own. I'm sure you get it.
Marc Maron's guest on his podcast today was Woody Harrelson, who is a big climate advocate, and they talked about the hope they still have that we can "make a U-turn" with this stuff. But, all I could envision was one huge "U-turn," the kind where you keep careening forward a truly dangerous distance before you even start to turn. My point is, climate will get worse absolutely no matter what we do at this point. I kind of can't stop thinking about that. It would be the case even if we stopped all carbon emissions today completely, and that's obviously not happening.
I still have a sort of bent optimism in my approach to life, given my pretty defeatist outlook. I honestly feel like people who actually know how dire the situation really is only stress the "hope" there supposedly still is for humanity's future because if they were defeatist they would cause widespread panic. But, my attitude comes down to these few regular thoughts:
*Even at only the age of 43, I already had a good run.
*The idea that I will be witness to climate catastrophes the likes of which humanity has never seen gives me a perverse feeling of being privileged.
*I still won't go down without a fight, even if I expect to lose. (In other words, I still consider climate activism to be of vital importance.)
*As always, I'll continue having a good time as long as I can, until I can't anymore. That's a good approach whether I bite it in some freak windstorm or I get hit by a bus. Anything is possible!
Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not trying to say I'm not afraid to die. I'm terrified of it. But that's a totally different conversation, actually, and has no real bearing on any of the above points.
All right I guess that's enough bleakness (or sunny disposition in the face of bleakness) for one day!
[posted 12:42 pm]