hope and dread
One day until we all decide on the fate of Western Civilization.
I honestly don't believe I am exaggerating. I have never been terrified of an election before. This is so, so much different from 2016, when I had so much hope, and like way too many other people, I just took for granted that Donald Trump could not possibly win a presidential election in the United States. He was a fucking pig, a literal clown, had zero relevant experience, and he was running against a woman who was one of the most qualified candidates in American history—some claimed the most qualified in history. And if we ran our presidential elections like we do all others, where it was a simple majority count, she'd actually be president right now.
What none of us bargained for was that people in this country, and particularly swing states made pointlessly relevant in outside proportions thanks to the Electoral College, hated the idea of a woman, and especially that woman, so fervently that they still felt the clown pig was the better option. These people, and also far too many people on the far left who insisted she was no different from Trump (which remains outright insane), also dismissed all the warnings against what a Trump presidency would do to our democracy, and especially the Supreme Court, as unrealistic "scare tactics" and "fear mongering." Well? Fucking look around. This man was not up to the task, he never has been, and he never will be.
Unfortunately, roughly 40% of the voters in this country still support him, and even if Biden wins—oh my god, please—those idiots, those blind followers, those bigots, will all still be out there. Nevertheless, the tonal impact, on a national scale, of just the individual in the position of President cannot be overstated.
But now, in sharp contrast to 2016, I proceed with fear and cautious optimism—emphasis on cautious. Shobhit's MSNBC news programs have been analyzing how based on polling, Biden is still likely to win even if polling is as far off as they were in 2016. I find such "analysis" to be of little comfort. Republicans are scrambling to find ways to not count votes as we speak. And, it's arguably even more important than Biden winning that Democrats gain control of the Senate, and get Mitch McConnell, that shit stained weasel, out of the Majority Leader position. It would be a fucking miracle if Amy McGrath actually beat him in this election, but in Kentucky? I am absolutely not holding my breath, especially considering how much farther ahead of her he is in that state's polling. Ugh. Granted, Kentucky shocked us all when they elected a Democratic governor, but that was an insanely tight race and the polls would have to be truly wildly wrong for McConnell to lose his Senate seat. Oh my god, I detest that man.
And then, there's the possibility that we won't even know the results for sure by the end of the day tomorrow. And in the meantime, our actual president continues to support discord and incite violence. Stephanie, my former boss, is on Facebook warning people to stock their pantries to prepare for the chaos we may be facing over the next couple of months. I honestly think that's a tad alarmist, but then, who the fuck knows? Far too much is far too uncertain right now. And you know why? Literally because Trump is the president. I cannot overstate my continued contempt for everyone who voted for that man in 2016.
I do understand the idea of far too many people who felt ignored by the Democrats, but the idea that anyone thought Trump was the solution continues to boggle my mind. Now, we're at a point where I literally feel like, if President Fuckwit wins a second term, then: god help us all. America as we know it will be over, and I will have to do some soul searching and contemplate some very hard decisions I never thought I'd ever be facing. Let's just hope it doesn't have to come to that.
The thing that gets to me even in a scenario where Biden wins is the scale of challenges we still face. And that would be the case even without the existence of a pandemic! (Which, of course, Trump has never once taken seriously, and Biden has taken seriously from the start.) We still have climate change, the greatest existential threat of our time, and yet, in the wake of this election, assuming Biden wins (oh my god, please), I would argue that top on their priority list should actually be the integrity of our election process—another thing widely undermined both by foreign influence and by Republicans themselves—then criminal justice and police reform, and then climate change. Because of course, we cannot effectively deal without climate change without first dealing with those other things, as they are inextricably linked.
I keep thinking of when Obama won the election in 2008, and there were huge celebrations, throngs of people in the streets. This time, Biden winning will be less a triggering for excitement than the greatest feeling of relief in about a decade. Throngs in the streets are potentially "super spreader" events in 2020, and less safe when our sitting president constantly calls for his supporters to distrust any result that does not go their way.
And I sometimes find myself looking out my window at the city, contemplating living in a country headed by a bona fide tyrant, the same way my mom told me she used to sit in her school classrooms and look at the American flag up the flagpole out the window and imagine a Soviet flag flying up there instead.
Mom and Bill have always been hard conservatives, and I could never have expected her to vote for Hillary Clinton under any circumstances. She had been so disgusted with both candidates, she once told me 2016 was the first presidential election in which she didn't vote for either candidate. I actually find it strangely comforting, knowing that at the very least, my mom died never having cast a vote for Donald Trump.
And all this shit is what I'm thinking about now. Imagine what most of the day tomorrow is going to be like. It will then end with one of three scenarios: the worst news of my life; the greatest relief felt in literally years; or, unbearable uncertainty.
What else can I say today then? I already wrote all about the most significant parts of my weekend; on the off chance that you only check my blog on weekdays and are used to me not posting regular updates over the weekend, I wrote about Friday's work Zoom Halloween Happy Hour & ½ here, having posted that on Saturday; and then I wrote about Saturday's surprisingly photogenic—as in, to an all-time record degree—Halloween here, having posted that one yesterday. In each case, the writing of the posts took a good amount of my time during that given day.
I did have plans to do our next Movie Draft with Gabriel and Lea yesterday, but they had some last-minute things come up that was both important and convoluted, so it's been postponed to next weekend. Which is fine, really; it allowed me to spend quite some time yesterday captioning all my photos from over the weekend. So now you can actually click through Friday's photo album on Flickr with shots of the work Zoom party; and Saturday's photo album with shots of Halloween, and every photo is now both tagged and captioned. Honestly I think this might be the fastest I've gotten a major, photogenic event completely captioned all year, since the New Year—it had taken me weeks to get all the Australia photos captioned, and for some time after that I fell behind on later events. Well, Halloween this year I've managed to stay right on top of!
Also on the upside, I suppose, is the weather, which has been relatively pleasant—I mean, I do usually love it when it rains, but given the limitations of our social lives, even going for a walk is easier when the weather is clear, especially when walking with someone else. And we did get a spectacularly lucky break on Halloween, Saturday, which was sunny all day and clear that night. Cold as a result, but clear. Although I just looked up the history and it was quite a bit colder on Halloween last year—high of 39°, whereas yesterday it got into the high fifties. It was clear yesterday and is today too, although it appears currently we have rain in the forecast for the next three days. I guess if I'm going to walk to the Central District PCC to pick up a few groceries, I'd better do it after work today.
Anyway, Shanti has been uber-affectionate all morning and is especially so as I write this, commanding my attention when I also really need to get back to work. So I'll get to it.
[posted 12:37 pm]