journiary

05022018-30

— पांच हजार एक सौ निन्यानवे —

I've made ridiculous playlists based on so many random themes this year, I don't know why it took me so long to think of making one based on cats. Duh! I'm so obsessed with cats, you'd think I would have thought of this idea sooner.

Granted, a lot of these tracks are metaphorical, as they have to be, but whatever. Barely more than half of them were even already in my music library; I had to do a lot of searches in Apple Music to find more. I still think it's fun. In fact, I added all these tracks to the playlist maybe the week before last, and only remembered this morning that I still needed to sequence them. Now that's done and I'm listening to the playlist as I type this.

— पांच हजार एक सौ निन्यानवे —

Well, I guess I don't have to be as jealous as I had been, of both Ivan and my dad. Ivan still hasn't tested positive, but Dad texted me this morning that he did. It does make me wonder now whether Ivan may yet, but he has no symptoms, and Dad said he feels "okay just cough and runny nose." The key difference is that Dad has been at home for the past week and a half with Sherri, never bothering to separate at all. Ivan has shared space with us, which may yet make a difference, but until last Sunday night, he was at work all night most nights, testing before each shift. And then when he was home, he slept in his room all day.

We do have dinner plans both tomorrow night and Saturday night. Ivan leaves Sunday morning, and then the condo will once again be Shobhit's and mine alone.

— पांच हजार एक सौ निन्यानवे —

05012019-21

— पांच हजार एक सौ निन्यानवे —

I thought about seeing if Alexia wanted to watch The Lost World while Shobhit was back at his first shift back to work yesterday, largely because she and I have a lot of those movies yet to watch between now and then the new one comes out in June, plus an extra movie now that I've picked up the DVD of the original Death on the Nile from the library, and scheduling is getting tighter and tighter. But, with plans every day starting today until Saturday May 7, I decided against it. I decided I would just stay home and take it easy last night.

I'm glad I did. I spent a few hours just sitting in the quiet living room, reading the new David Sedaris book, A Carnival of Snackery: Diaries 2003 - 2020, which I am loving. It's also overdue though, and with other holds on it, I can't renew it. So it'll just be overdue until I return it. I already have another book picked up too, so I really need to get this one finished sooner than later. And, I made a probably unprecedented one-day dent in it reading last night.

I even wound up texting Gabriel a screenshot of a paragraph about learning that eagles are not infallible and make dumb mistakes sometimes. He wound up sending me back multiple videos of eagles misjudging distance when trying to get prey from water, hitting the water too hard, and getting so wet that they cannot fly back out. They basically swim to shore looking like they're doing the breast stroke. I actually felt bad for the things.

Before that, though, he attempted to text me a voice text, but using a cartoon avatar, this one a shark, which he accidentally sent before finishing. So I got this cartoon shark that said only, "Infallible? Ha. Let me tell you!" I suppose you had to be there, but it was fucking hilarious. I literally laughed until I cried. I forwarded it to Mandy, which I guess Gabriel didn't like much. He seems to think now we spend all our time just making fun of him behind our backs, which isn't the case at all. This didn't even count as "making fun." It was just a charming and innocent mistake that brought joy to all that beheld it.

This is the fundamental difference between him and me. Or I suppose, between myself and most other people. Other people worry about what bad things people are saying about them behind their back. I just go on the operating assumption that people are saying good things about me behind my back.

— पांच हजार एक सौ निन्यानवे —

Shobhit texted me while he was at work, that he was "coughing a lot and feeling shitty." I worried about people around him but Shobhit had no sympathy for them: "Then they should wear a mask," he said. Shobhit's wearing one, at least, which is good. When he finally got home he took his temperature, thinking maybe his fever had returned. But, it had not; his temperature was 98.1°.

I'd already used the last of our Costco bagels to make a sandwich for dinner, so Shobhit made himself an Indian meal packet. We then proceeded to watch episodes 3 and 4 of the Marvel Studios show Moon Knight on Disney+. That show just gets weirder and weirder. Gabriel called me later to say how much he hated episode 4. I liked it fine, although that cartoon hippo at the very end made me wonder if we were supposed to be high while watching this show. This morning I went back to a podcast with deep dive recaps of episodes and was still on episode 1 with them, and they mentioned references to hippos from the start of the show. Huh. I guess I missed that.

I really, really love David Sedaris's diary anthology books. They make me want to change how I write diaries myself. I suppose I should remain true to myself with these blog posts, though, and not try just to be more like David Sedaris.

That brings back a bit of a dark memory from my teenage years. Mom, Christopher and I were all watching a standup comedian on TV, who delivered a joke I never, ever forgot: "I was writing in my journal . . . I keep a journal. I don't keep a diary, because I'm not a faggot." Cue audience laughter.

For a while after that, any time Mom referred to my "diary" I would correct her: "It's a journal." And Mom said, once or twice, "I know, because you're not a faggot!" But, then there was that whole business in 1991, when I was 15, when evidence of my sexuality came out, and I wound up in counseling and undergoing what was ultimately a form of "reparative therapy." After that, at least two different times, the same exchange between Mom and me would start the same but end differently: "Journal," I would correct her, and then Mom would say, "I know, because—" and then she would stop herself, skipping the "because you're not a faggot" part.

Of course I was a faggot the whole time.

— पांच हजार एक सौ निन्यानवे —

05022021-03

[posted 12:30 pm]