Fri, 22:09: BREAKING -- We carry "Chickens" Magazine. This month's cover story: "8 Causes & Solutions to Egg-Laying Issues." (This is real.)
Sat, 00:52:

This year’s batch of band name ideas!

Chlamydia
Inclusion Riders
Basic Bitches
Balloon Syndrome
Gonad Cathedral
Bone Zone
Gauche
HVBM
Toupee Fallacy