Leaving Jacksonland
I don't have a whole lot to update you on today, except that I watched both episodes 1 and 2 of the HBO documentary miniseries Leaving Neverland, and although I already read enough about it to finally change my mind about Michael Jackson, it fundamentally shook everything I believed about him for years -- for decades, even.
This was my talking point, until now: given it was well established that he would sleep alone in the same bed with other parents' little boys and teenage boys, it seemed clear to be that Michael Jackson did things with children that were by definition inappropriate. I believed, however, that Michael Jackson was just completely fucked in the head as a result of his insane fame and fortune, causing him -- like most people with that level of star power (and this would include even my own idol, Madonna) -- to be largely divorced from reality; to call him "out of touch" would be an understatement. He just didn't truly understand what was appropriate, I thought. I still couldn't go so far as to believe he was a pedophile.
I'm embarrassed to admit it took me literally 25 years to see the light. 26 years, I guess, to be totally specific: the first molestation allegations against him occurred in 1993. I can still remember when the media frenzy over that court case broke at the time; I was in Olympia visiting Dad and Sherri, and Sherri, herself a Michael Jackson fan, said -- like most Michael Jackson fans did -- "I don't believe it."
I didn't believe it either. And I was once molested by a pedophile myself! Hindsight can be many more things than 20/20 -- honestly, the old clips in last night's documentaries of Michael Jackson in the nineties and the early 2000s, they really underscored how creepy-weird that man really was, and how bizarrely people (fans and casual observers alike) overlooked his "eccentricities" because of his massive talent. I don't think anyone would abide by a star behaving the way he did today. The nineties, and especially the eighties, were a very different time.
A second trial against Michael Jackson occurred in 2003, with a second young teenager making the accusation -- Jackson's acquittal in that trial hinged largely on the testimony of one Wade Robson, one of the two subjects of this HBO documentary, insisting that Jackson never molested him. Robson gets into excruciating detail now about what really happened, how and why he lied, and is presented alongside yet another man (who he never met until this documentary was finished), Jimmy Safechuck, who went through very much the same process: falling in love with Michael Jackson as he groomed him to feel safe regarding a developing sexual relationship with a grown man while he was a very young child; then keeping it secret and lying about it for years before finally revealing the truth about it in his forties.
And this is the thing. The allegations in 1993 were credible. We all should have taken this stuff far more seriously from the start. But a second credible allegation in 2003? Then a third and fourth victim speaking out now? How high does this number have to be?
Leaving Neverland is beyond convincing. These men's stories align far too well, particularly given they did not meet each other during production to compare notes (that alone would have taken the film's credibility away), to be coincidence. And the level of denial and delusion among Michael Jackson fans online is breathtaking -- people who say these interview subjects are "bad actors" and all they want to do is defame a supposedly wonderful man after his death. Trust me, these guys were not acting for cameras. They did not get paid for their participation in this film. They knew full well to brace for the ridiculous backlash of Jackson fans. What the fuck do they have to gain, really, from this? It's the same shit as when female victims of sexual assault are accused of just seeking notoriety or money. It's preposterous.
And a lot of this documentary was difficult for me to sit through. Several times I literally squirmed in my seat, barely able to take it -- it was all just so gross, so terrible, so reminiscent of experiences I had myself as a child. To say it gave me the heebie-jeebies would be euphemistic.
And, what now? I mean, regarding my history as a Michael Jackson fan? I've read several quotes, and this happened once or twice even in the documentary, of people saying "There was a lot of great things about Michael Jackson," and they're not trying to take the joy away from fans of his music. And I'm like, What? How the fuck can I listen to any of his songs in good conscience ever again? "Man in the Mirror"? "Heal the World"? "Earth Song"? Jesus Christ. It's all so disingenuous, it's sickening. I can't stomach watching any Kevin Spacey movies anymore, much as I once loved them -- how could I continue listening to Michael Jackson?
I have literally every solo album he ever released, and my favorite tracks have long been organized into several different playlists on iTunes and in my phone. But, perhaps Washington Post writer Hank Stuever puts it best: "Turn off the music and listen to these men." Indeed.
And much has been made already, as I already noted, of expected backlash -- even against Oprah Winfrey, who interviewed Robson, Safechuck and the documentary's director, Dan Reed. Jackson's legion of fans are going out of their way to tip the scales in user reviews of the film; Twitter is awash with stunning self-delusion; clicking on any of the "view comments" links on stories about this can quickly prove to be a mistake.
Anyway, watching those documentaries -- four hours' worth -- literally took up my entire evening. I got in Skype briefly with Shobhit in Delhi, but just long enough to tell him what came in the mail. I even made dinner while I had the documentary playing, with the TV turned so I could see it better from the kitchen. I made the Asian Cashew Chopped Salad from Costco, and, unlike what Shobhit typically does, I only added three extra things: chopped tomato; deep fried tofu (the first time I used the deep fryer we bought from Sherri over Christmas on my own -- I did a very good job if I do say so myself); and a bit of shredded cheese. I'm actually making more of an effort to use up the cheese we still have, a lot of it still from the "12 Days of Cheese" promotions at Whole Foods from December. I've only had to cut off small bits of mold so far!
It was around 10:15 by the time the documentaries ended, so then it was time for bed. Anyway, I'm glad I can scratch that particular viewing off my list. It's vital viewing -- and talk of a "reckoning" regarding Michael Jackson is more than justified -- but it wasn't exactly pleasant.
The makes two different documentaries, now, that actually changed my mind about something. The other was The Bridge, about suicide, which taught me to be empathetic rather than judgmental toward people who do or try to kill themselves.
[posted 12:33 pm]